That Kind of Day

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I looked at the D.C. Metro bus app open on my phone as it lay on top of the toilet cistern. I was still combing my hair, but the app was warning that my bus would be coming in four minutes.

My bus stop is two blocks away. I could not afford to miss that bus to the train station. The next one would come 18 minutes later and was bound to be slowed by the morning traffic. I’d deal with the hair later, I reasoned as I grabbed my phone, dashed to my bedroom, pulled on the clothes I had picked and scampered down the stairs, gulping from the burgundy cup of hot black tea I had set on the bathroom counter to sip as I groomed myself.

My two neighbor’s pesky chihuahuas didn’t bark as they do every time I have pivoted down Quackenbos street to catch my bus on the main thoroughfare. I could see the bus approaching, but impatient drivers would not let me cross the street to the other side. I ventured into the road, forcing coming cars to slow down. The zebra crossing sign on the tarmac is faded, so pedestrians must be aggressive about getting to the other side.

I made it just on time to be a spectacle on the bus, as sleepy, maybe bored commuters looked at this disheveled beauty with a comb in one hand, rummaging through her purse for her Metro card and adding a minute to their commute.
“I got you,” the kindly bus driver said to me. “Why don’t you find a seat first and then when you find your card, you can bring it over.”

I walked from the front of the bus, fielding amused and annoyed looks from other passengers.

As the bus approached my final stop, I stood up before it had made a complete halt and the inertia sent me tumbling back onto the seat, my behind landing gently on the person next to me. Could I make a bigger spectacle of myself?

As I darted off the bus, pulling out my phone to send a morning tweet or two  Р something about the monthly employment report due this morning from the U.S. Labor Department- , I heard footsteps coming after me.

“Ma’am! Ma’am! Your zipper is down!”

 *First published 11/06/2015



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